Last month I devoured Shauna Niequist’s new book. Twice.
Shauna is a soul sister. I don’t know her beyond the pages of her books. We have never met. She most certainly has no idea who I am. But the girl gets me. I’m not sure if there is another person who can articulate the way I feel about the table, hospitality, and the importance of celebration like she can.
She just gets it.
In her new book, I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet, she tells the story of her family’s tumultuous last few years, the unexpected delight of their move from the midwest to the big city (New York City!!), and other stores of life and lessons learned as she navigates “midlife”.
A thread that runs throughout the book is the idea that we never truly know it all. We are always learning, always growing, or at least we should be. The idea that what worked once, might not work forever. What is serving me and my life and my routines today, might not always serve me, and that’s okay. She talks about having the posture of a learner.
I can’t stop thinking about that. What life might look like if we embraced learning, changing, and growing. What it would look like if there was no need to pretend (or worse – confidently think) that we have it all figured out.
I want to be a person that knows that it’s okay to change my mind, my style, my coffee order, or what I find attractive in a man. I don’t want to be afraid of the fact that I can no longer hold my schedule in my mind alone. I absolutely have to look at my calendar each day or I will miss a meeting, a birthday, a doctor’s appointment, or show up to the wrong coffee shop (all of which happened last month, because I was stuck in an old way of doing things). I want to embrace phrases like: I don’t know, this might need to change, and I guess I haven’t learned that yet. I want to celebrate what I do know and rejoice in the fact that I am still learning.
A few things I know: how to feed a large group, how to make a decent balloon arch, how to set a table. I know that God’s love is real and that His story is true. I know how to keep the book at a little league game, how to wrap a present, and how to make a really good grilled cheese. I know how to be a good friend, how to share the gospel. I know when my body is telling me to slow down and what it feels like when my foot is broken. I know that grace is the greatest gift I have ever received.
I’m still learning how to apologize quickly. How to take care of and have compassion towards my body. I’m still learning the narrative of the Old Testament and the chronology of Israel. I’m still learning that creating meaningful community is an art, not a science. How to choose my Bible over my phone first thing in the morning. How to cook for one. How to prioritize rest. How to be content. I’m still learning that my worth and value lie in belonging to God and not in anything I do for God. I’m still learning that because He knows all, I don’t have to.
I’m still learning and that’s okay.
*this list of things I know and am still learning was inspired by a writing prompt from Ashlee Gadd, you can read her work here and here.
I have started doing yoga again and I forgot how much I love it. Do you know what is amazing about yoga? You can’t think about anything else while you are there. It’s 60 minutes of focusing on breath and body and that is a gift during this lots-on-the-brain-season. I’ve been using class pass to try different studios and I’m a fan! The first two weeks are free, if you ever want to join me!
I made tik-tok famous pasta for dinner last month and it was s’good! Real indulgent, but so good!
Happy Friday, friends! I’m praying you have a wonderful weekend. I’m praying especially for my friends that are dreading Sunday, the ones who are missing their moms or their babies and the ones that are aching to become mamas one day. I pray the Lord is near and that you would feel seen and comforted in your grief.
You are so very loved!
Thanks for being here!
Marissa
@marissalmartinez