October 2021 Newsletter
If you were to ask me how I feel about being single, nine times out of ten, I would tell you I feel pretty content.
Not perfectly content, but surprisingly content, considering my plan was always to get married at 22- just like Annie Banks-MacKenzie. I feel settled in singleness most days – sure, steady, content, and peaceful, but there are occasionally moments that blindside me with a sudden sting of lack. This sting is rarely induced by a wedding, a rom-com, or hearing about another friend’s luck in love. Even though all of those things would make sense and be entirely reasonable causes to the effect of discontent, no, it’s something different. For me, this sting most often appears when a dashboard light comes on in my car, making choices to plan for retirement, or when a big decision looms.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no illusion that these things are actually easier if you are married or that I need a man to make big decisions or help me navigate money or fix my car. I’ve lived the words of Independent Women to a fault. But it’s the practical, every day, entirely ordinary, I-would-love-it-if-I-didn’t-have-to-do-it-alone moments in life that get me. So imagine my absolute dread at the prospect of buying a new car. My worst nightmare: all my trigger moments combined. There’s the assessing the budget, the determining the right car for said budget, the looking at cars, the negotiating, the getting rid of current car, the list goes on. I’d offer that chewing my left arm off would be an easier and less painful process than acquiring a new car.
Hi, my name is Marissa, and sometimes I can be dramatic.
With that expectation in mind, preparations began months ago. I’ve been bracing myself while saving and simultaneously trying to psyche myself up for the difficult, isolating task ahead.
In hindsight this is comical, because this car buying process not only blew my low bar expectations out of the water, but it will forever and always be a remembrance stone for me. A reminder that those that are in the family of God are truly never alone.
I don’t even know where to start. This story of the Lord’s plan and provision, and how He intimately knows my needs could start in so many places. I could tell you about the couple in my home group that started asking invasive and loving questions about my budget the year before, which set me on a trajectory to save for said car while becoming debt-free and finally committing to budget for the first time in my adult life (better late than never!). Or I could tell you about one friend that knew I needed and was looking for a new car that continually kept his eye out for me. Or how that one friend told his friend who was also looking to get a new car to consider selling me his current car. Or how that guy (also a friend) reached out to me about his car and set a sale price that was fair, but beyond below the current competitive car market value. Or I could tell you about the countless friends that have been involved and invested in this process with me, cheering me on along the way, and celebrating with me when all was said and done.
I could go on and on about how this thing that could have been a pain point, a reminder that my life isn’t exactly what I imagined it would be, a source of frustration and overwhelm and discontent. Instead, this story ended up being a reminder that we have a gracious God that goes before us, in things big and small, and that this family that I long for is already mine in the people of God. And already yours too if you belong to Christ.
We were never meant to do life alone, friends. No matter your season or circumstance, let someone else into yours and try to see someone else in theirs.
If you are single and you know the alone-ness that comes with the ordinary, everyday things of life, I challenge you to share that with someone you love and trust. From experience, I can say it is beyond worth it to invite people into those decisions or difficulties with you.
If you are married, anticipate the need for your friends that may feel alone – the need for a sounding board, for an extra set of hands, for someone to cheer, or someone to listen. Even if your marriage isn’t what you thought it would be, there is a friend and an ear out there to champion you, even though the seasons of life may look different.
The first part of Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in families.”
Let’s be that family to one another.
Featured This Month
Things I’m loving right this very minute!
This Tonight Show Song
Jimmy Fallon and Chris Stapleton singing this song about why we all love Nancy Meyers movies. They aren’t wrong.
This New Podcast
This new podcast started by some fun friends that talk about how to do family discipleship in your home, in your season, with your kids. Don’t miss it!
This Podcast Episode
This podcast episode with Jeff Daniels talking about his time on Newsroom working with Aaron Sorkin. It made me love them all even more!
My New Nutritionist
I just started working with this nutritionist and I think she might change my life and in this case, I don’t think I’m being dramatic. I’ll have to tell you more about this another time, but she is absolutely worth an instagram follow!
Happy Monday, friends! I pray this note was a source of encouragement and maybe a little inspiration. If you love getting these emails, would you consider forwarding it to a friend? This newsletter has become my favorite creative outlet and I’d love to be able to share it with anyone you think might find it encouraging. I’d love to hear what you are loving this fall, hit that reply button and let me know!
Thanks for being here!
Marissa
